Grim Tales

When a brainy donkey overhears the horrible farmer deciding to mash him up into glue because he was getting a bit old, the donkey decides to leave the night before the mashing and become a musician in a town called Bremen. During his escape he teams up with the farm dog and cat that also decide to become musicians. Apparently the farmer thinks they are getting too old as well and plans to do horrible things to them. The farmer plans to cut off the dog's head, put it on a stick and use it as a brush to clean the pigsty with. As for the cat, he plans on cutting him up into strings to make a tennis racket. Because it is so dark they're escape attempt fails and the next mourning they are spotted by the rooster, ""COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! HEY EVERYBODY! THE DOCKEY AND THE DOG AND THE CAT ARE ALL ESCAPING! BUT KEEP IT UNDER YOUR HAT! COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!"" Furious the farmer wakes up and sharpens his knife to kill the rooster, giving him no choice but to escape with the others. ""I'M ESCAPING TOO! I'M

There was once a servant called Stan who worked for three whole years, but never did his wicked master gave him any payment. And no sooner had the three years ended the master fired Stan and gave him nothing but three balls of fluff as a paycheck. Poor Stan who knew nothing about money though three pieces of fluff was a good thing and took them on his travels. On his adventure, Stan encountered an elf sitting under a tree who dreamed of even having one bit of fluff. Being good hearted, Stan gave the little elf under the tree all his fluff. So for each fluffy piece, the elf granted Stan three wishes. Firstly, Stan wished for a bow and arrow that no matter what will always go where ever he aims at. Secondly, he wishes for a fiddle that when he plays it everyone will be forced to get up and dance. And third and finally, Stan wishes that if he asks a favour of someone that someone will have to do what he asks. In a puff of blue smoke the elf disappears leaving Stan hold a bow, a arrow, a f

There was once a King who had an only daughter, but the princess was always ill. So ill that she was covered in green stripes and thought she was a deck chair. No doctor had ever been able to cure her. One night when her father had folded her up for the night, he dreamed that his daughter would get well by eating an apple. So he proclaimed that whoever brought an apple that would make the princess better could marry her and take his place as the king. A farmer sent his eldest son to bring a basket of apples down to the palace. But on the way he met an ugly dirty little man who asked what he was carrying in his basket. ""If you must know, you nosey little bogy, it's full of slimey toads legs"" the eldest son told him, the little man went off saying ""If you say so, so shall it be"". The eldest arrived at the palace and boasted that he had the apples that would cure the princess. But when the king opened the basket it was ful of slimey toads legs still jumping around. The king was so mad tha

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There was once a soldier called Trousers, who wasn't scared of anything. But when the army retired he was left without a job. Poor Trousers had been in the army all his life and didn't know how to do anything except kill people in the first degree. He tried getting a job as a baker but tried to kill the loafs of bread, he tried getting a job as a gardener but tried using the loarn mower as a weapon, and so one and so on. So he was left pennyless with only two things, one was a pair of boots made of buffalo leather, the other was a magic trick he could do on Thursdays which had been given to him by a troll which he accepted in return to stop trashing the troll to a spec. One day Trousers found himself lost in the woods when he saw a sad crying man in polished leather shoes and a green coat sitting by a tree. Trousers thought about killing the man but realised it wouldn't be polite without first saying hello. So Trousers gave 'Shiny Boots' a friendly poke in the eye and 'G'day' and then

There was once a very strange King who collected trees from around the world. His favourite tree was a chocolate tree that he kept in his garden. He loved this tree that he proclaimed a new law: ""If anyone eats a single chocolate from this beautiful chocolate tree, by magic they shall instantly disappear one hundred miles down under the ground."" But this only taunted his three daughters who really loved to eat chocolates, and they spent six months looking out the window hungrily at the choc that grew on the branches. Eventually the youngest princess came to the conclusion that they're father loved them too much to just magic them under the earth, and they all ran out to eat. But no sooner had they plucked one each all three daughters suffered the fate their dad had fortold... The King later discovered that his daughters were lost, and his tree reduced to a pile of chocolate wrappers. The royal stoned magician explains that the tree will never grow again unless his daughters come back.

There was once a spoiled and unbarable princess called Beral, she was so unbarable that her father the King decided that she could get married so she could live in someone else's house and leave him in peace. The next mourning kings, barons, princes, emperors and a bus conductor all arrived at the palace so Beral could choose one to be her husband. But Beral was awful, she walked passed the long line of men saying such rude things about them, when she finally comes to a King with a crooked little chin. She made fun of him saying he looked like a Thrush and called him King Thrushbeard before throwing one of the servants at him. Furious, Beral's father hands his daughter to the first begger that comes to the door. The begger made her walk for miles across the country side, passed beautiful cities and everytime Beral asked ""Who does this belong to?"" the begger would say ""It belongs to King Thrushbeard, if you'd have married him it would have been yours"". And Beral would say ""Oh no, why di

Once apon a time there were two brothers, one was called Septimus and the other was called Basil. Septimus was very rich and spent the days riding around in an expensive carriage spitting grap pips out the window. Basi; on the other hand was so poor he had to spend the days as a farmer planting turnip seeds. One seed he planted grew bigger, and bigger and seemed as if it was never going to stop. Eventually the turnip was so enourmous that Basil knew he had to show it off, so he put the giant vegitable in his cart and took it to the palace to show The King. However, the king was so senile that he thought Basil was giving him the Turnip as a preasant. The king takes the massive turnip and in return gives Basil gold, medows and hurds of animals; which Basil delightfully accepts. But whe Septimus heard of what lucky Basily got for one single turnip he became extremely jealous and wondered how he could get the King to give him loads of lands, livestock and riches. Knowing what his brother g

There was once a village, a village called ""Horrid on Sea"", where everyone was rich, well everyone expect for one little man who was poor. All the rich peasants laughed at him and called him ""The Stupid Little Peasant"" and threw bits of lard and rubbish at him, because they didn't like poor people. The rich fokes had wonderful houses, feilds full of cows as far as the eye could see and they all each had six fifty pound notes with jam on for breakfast. But the Little Peasant was so poor he had to eat twigs with no jam. And when he and his wife had eaten all the twigs from miles around they had to start eating the floor of their hut. The peasant was sad to see his wife with mouthfulls of splinters every night, so one night instead of eating his piece of the floor he carved it into a little wooden carf asnd gave it to his wife as a preasant as she had always wanted to have some cows. The wifes loves it and suggests they put it out to graise with all the other cows of the village. So the n

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